12/1 four down, none to go!

who has two thumbs and no more applications to do???

this girl!!! 

(cheesing so hard because this is TRUE joy)

and now we wait...

two more weeks until I hear back from two schools...eep!! 

anyways, I am so so so so SO happy, y'all. This college application process has been making my life so difficult and busy in my already busy life (can I even call my own life busy...? or does that seem too self-involved??). Because I now have ONE less thing to worry about, I can un-shamefully watch even MORE episodes of How I Met Your Mother (but let's be honest...I was never too ashamed in the first place...how is that even possible?!). I can now (hopefully) finally basically start and finish The Blood of Olympus. I can now (again...hopefully) catch up on my other homework. Even more awesome, I can write some substantial blog posts. So get ready because I am so excited to share some thoughts with you guys. Make sure you subscribe (over there) so you will never miss a post! :-)

Thanks so much for reading this exciting blog post of mine...I love you!

11/20 17 faves about my 17th year

well folks... tomorrow I turn 18 (eeps!!!) and for that reason, I am going to reflect on what has been my favorite year thus far and show/tell you about SEVENTEEN things I loved about my seventeenth year :-)

1. Governor's School duh

(eating one of our final dinners together)

 

(hugs with one of my faves...we're so cute)

(I miss dorking out with them so much)

2. The strengthening of my testimony

because of Governor's School, I realized how little I was doing when it came to following Christ. I realized that over the years, I had subconsciously lowered my standards. I realized how much I am loved by my Heavenly Father (...and there's even MORE eternal love!!). I learned that prayers are answered and that the Holy Ghost is truly my greatest comfort and companion. I am so proud of the growth I had this past summer, and I am so so so excited to keep growing!

3. Realizing who I want to be: a person serves as a light to those around her--one who can live and love the gospel with all her heart and share that love with everyone. 

4. I started driving!!! ...a lot! 

5. I went to what felt like a gazillion concerts

(last concert for the year...One Direction. Oh Niall Horan, how I adore you you BABE uGH)

6. CRIMINAL MINDS ON NETFLIX (actually investing in Netflix in general) 

*no words, just awe*

7. bonding with my mommy over TV shows and movies

I love my mom so much, and I miss her a lot all the time. ugh I need to spend more time with that woman. 

8. My junior year of high school was *happy sigh* 

(one of the proudest achievements of my life was being Chief Junior Marshal yay!!! and not to mention my friends are all geniuses...how I love them so) 

9. I got my braces off!!!

(MAYBE ONE OF THE GREATEST MOMENTS OF MY LIFE???? ISN'T THIS EVERYONE'S???)

10. all the sunrises and sunsets I've witnessed have somehow changed my life

(so so so so beautiful are the simple things that Heavenly Father gives us)

11. Investing in these Vans *heart eyes*

(no ragrats...I want another pair)

12. reading Cassandra Clare's The Infernal Devices series (but really making spare time to read in general!!)

(one of my fave book series ever tbh!! ...but maybe I'm biased because I think Will Herondale is the greatest babe)

13. 10 Things I Hate About You (literally watched this for a few days straight during the summer...just because I could)

Heath Ledger is babe though tbh. Not to mention Julia Stiles is totally adorable. ugh I love this movie sm

14. My dog liking me more :'-)

(this picture does not reflect Cocco and my relationship well...but you know)

15. This Korean drama: Sly and Single (main guy is so so so hot)

Hey!!! I'm not truly Asian without watching K-dramas am I??

16. Caring more about politics (even though I'm nowhere near where I want to be)

Another thing I learned from Gov School...So many things are going on in the world today, and so many people remain ignorant because they simply do not care. it's sad, and I don't want to be one of the people. be an activitist. be an advocate. be something, but please don't be apathetic or indifferent. 

17. my newfound love for blogging including my own! It's another place for me to write down my thoughts, and I enjoy that...reminds me that I really need to start writing in my journal again hm...

For these reasons and many more, 17 has been the greatest treat. It's the chillest year! Like come on, I'm not a sassy 16 year old nor am I expected to be a true 18 year old adult! how awesome it is to be a chill medium. to commemorate this year, here is the last pic of me in my "chill medium" stage as a wee seventeen year old: 

(the shirt reads: "It's all good in the hood"...I love it)

alas, the time has come...I have nine minutes left eep!! Thank you Heavenly Father for a fantastic year. I couldn't have asked for a better one...please make eighteen an even greater treat! 

11/02 two apps down, two more to go!

yesterday, I submitted my application for my top-choice university, and now, I must wait. I applied Early Decision, so I should find out before mid-December! It's so exciting but so nerve-wracking at the same time jdkljdaljfs EEK!!! 

anyways, I decided on just applying to four colleges, and so two down, two to go! much excite!! :-)

I hope all is well with everyone. This four-day weekend has been a pleasant one. Also, I somehow keep getting farther and farther behind on homework, and that sucks BUTT. I just can't deal, yall. 

(also, no pics tonite...sorry!)

10/20 seriously a Manic Monday

it's only Monday, and I'm already a bit stressed. what even??
I confess to crying at the end of my school day although I was laughing simultaneously

I have a gazillion things to do this week. I'm behind in one of my online classes and in my Calc class. so insane. Not to mention I have a college application due next Saturday EEP!! 

BUT on the brighter side, I am just so so so so so SO happy that I don't have my college class at all this week (GO FALL BREAK!!!) and that I am finally officially JOBLESS. not having a job has its perks, yall! I'm so happy. So happy for the extra time I'll have!

it's times like these when I question my sanity for this heavy workload, but then I remind myself that I'm a super masochist and actually love it more than anything else in the world

alright, it's 11:45, and I shouldn't even be posting, but here I am...

I'll leave ya with this awesome sticker I got from BYU. woot woot!! 

oh! and this great scripture that never ever ever fails to comforts me: 

Matthew 11: 28-30

Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light. 

p.s. I know I said I would leave, but I want to mention that my school had another loss this weekend, and it's the cruelest thing in the world. However, Heavenly Father has a plan for all of us. We have to have faith that everything will be alright and patiently wait for the day that we come to a full understanding of this month's tragic events. We are BH Strong. Rest in peace, Austin! Even though I didn't know you (which sucks), you have taught me things, and for that, I am grateful. See ya in Heaven, buddy! 

10/15 ONE DOWN SIX (???) MORE TO GO!!!

I JUST SUBMITTED MY FIRST COLLEGE APPLICATION YALL
IT'S GETTING SUPA SUPA REAL UP IN HERE 

(congratulatory selfie with Common App)

it's been a crazy couple of days!! I thought this college only needed one essay but then I found it that it needed TWO, so I scrambled. Supa cray!! Not to mention I'm super super behind on homework. YIKES!! but now, I'm so so so glad the application is over! ...but not really over over considering I still have at least four (POSSIBLY six) more colleges I have to apply to. DEEP SIGH
Anyways, I'm quite proud of myself for submitting this application. I also feel really old and sad because WOW senior year. WOW college. WOW eighteen (soon). WOW I still have a lot of growing to do before I leave the house. basically WOW...this, getting older and responsibility stuff, is insane! just absolutely insane. but so awesome at the same time!! ugh I love it all so much (regardless of the lack of sleep). 

Anyone who's applying for colleges, just remember, don't stress and be yourself. (really that's for just about anyone regardless of what you're doing!) 

P.S. excuse my absence on this blog. just know that I'm not doing anything too cool...unless you think homework, college apps, and essays are cool because otherwise I'm getting turnt!!! hahaha 
P.S.S. it's so weird not having a word limit and typing all this random, informal stuff hehe

10/8 bhstrong

remember when I said that a few weeks ago was one of the most stressful weeks of my life? i lied. it's been THESE past two (since my last blog post) weeks. it's insane. everything hurts and it sucks, and i just don't know what to do anymore. 

last week i spent the entire week following a prompting from HF to fill out the application for a scholarship i seriously legitimately don't even think i will get. i hate it. and i worked my butt off on that dang thing the entire weekend as well.

but also, more significantly, this past weekend, two kids from my school died, and i have never been hit harder. it sucks you guys. they were sophomores and deserved so much more. so so so so much more. three others were injured with two being my current classmates and one from last year. like everyone has been saying this week: we always see tragedies like this happen in the movies. but to our school? who would have known that could happen? it's hard. so so so hard, and i hate it so much. i hate the loss of two young lives. i wish i would have known them more than I did, but I didn't, and I hate myself for that. it just sucks, and i'm still having trouble wrapping my head around it. but, one positive thing that has risen out of this tragedy was the power of our community. like dang I live in a small town, but holy crap, we are amazing. everyone in this community has come together and just supported everyone else 11048239475%. I'm serious. it's insane. i have never been prouder to be a Bear. I truly know what it means to be BH Strong. It's powerful. 

I want to take a moment to honor Justin and Alec. I thought of y'all yesterday morning when I saw this sunrise, blue and yellow: 

Also, A and J, meet Al. 

Jess says he is exactly you, A, and I'm happy and honored that I at least get to know you both through Jess and everyone else. I am so sad I didn't have the honor of truly knowing you guys personally, but I am so so so excited to meet you guys in Heaven. Keep watching over all of us Bears, and keep Heaven laughing. 

9/21 be thou an example

hey! long time no see, y'all! last week was one of the hardest weeks i've ever had for many reasons which really all stemmed from one big thing. obviously i can't talk about this "big thing" because it's quite personal, and i'm still not entirely 100% done figuring out what to do about it. it's one of those "big things" ya feel me? also, i'm gonna call this "big thing" Bertha. i think it fits hahaha.

anyways, i've probably been low-key stressing about it for a while now, but it finally hit me really hard about the end of the week before last. and then this past week, it hit me really really hard. it sucks!!! it sucks a lot. 

but i'm not here to talk about how much it sucked. i'm here to talk about Heavenly Father's messages. this week, i have prayed and prayed and prayed about what to do with Bertha. after talking to my sister, one of my best friends, Cindy, and my ma about it, i was still sad and feeling pretty down about Bertha. I was feeling better, of course! but i still didn't know what to do for the most part. and then Friday morning, during seminary, one of the example scenarios was the same scenario I was in. I was in awe. the scenario went through what so and so should do in this particular situation, and I was like "yeah i need to do that! duh!" but hey that was a message and solution ya know? Heavenly Father answered my prayers!! like how freaking awesome?! but it gets even more insane, you guys. the answers didn't stop there (just because HF knows i have problems and always need to be told at least two times before i'm comfortable and willing to act). today, during church, all the lessons I had could be linked back to Bertha. again, it's absolutely insane! but so so so cool. i'm still not 100% sure about what to do (like I stated above), but I know I will be soon, and when that time comes, I know I will be 100% comfortable with my decision. 

Furthermore, I know that as long as I am on Heavenly Father's side and not the world's, I will be alright because He will always always be on mine. in light of these events, I want to say that Heavenly Father knows us all so well. His love for us is so so special, and He knows each of us personally (even though that's so hard to believe, it's true--I promise!). He knows our problems, and He knows how to speak to us. I am so thankful for prayer, this gospel, and this gospel's strong emphasis on prayer. The gospel is true. I know it! 

before I leave, I want y'all to watch this video: "The No Cussing Club." 

This kid is such an inspiration to me! like holy cow! such a radical movement. such a radical boy. he has the courage and faith to move mountains (which he basically did!). he's getting death threats, though, you guys!? and he's still going strong! how freaking amazing. it. is. mind-boggling. seriously! i wish i was more like him, and I want to try to be from now on. 

"Let no man despise thy youth; but be thou an example of the believers, in word, in conversation, in charity, in spirit, in faith, in purity." --1 Timothy 4:12

9/15 late night comfort

i've been feeling a bit down lately about some things, and i always pray for comfort when i'm down. the other day i found this gem of a talk: 

(it's by President Monson from the October 2013 conference) 

it's basically impossible to not feel the Spirit when you read this the first time, but i've read it quite a bit these past few days, and it still continues to comfort me the more and more i read it. i encourage anyone and everyone to read it! 

Heavenly Father loves us so so so much. His love for us is unfathomable, and that is incredible. I am so blessed to know of his love for me and to know that I am truly loved on the days I feel my worst. I am so very thankful for His answering my prayers. I'm thankful for President Monson and this brilliant talk. I know he is truly ordained of God in these latter-days to guide us back to our Heavenly Father. I am so happy to be a part of this gospel.

9/12 hbd to my bestest friend in the entire world

happy birthday Maxx! 

(idk why i like to carry you so much...i think it's because i like to assert my dominance in a fake-ly affectionate way hehe) 

(one of my fave pics of us of all time)

(but wow you're twenty-one and gross now!! jk you've always been gross but now you're really gross. jk i love you a lot and you're not gross at all. promise.)

Maxx, you are one of the sweetest, smartest, and stylish people i know. actually maybe not the latter, but hey! that can be worked on. but seriously. you're really nice to people even though you think you're not. you try so hard to be genuine in your dealings with people, and that's all that matters. you're so super smart, and i'm sorry for always belittling that. you are going so so so so fricking far, Maxx. don't let anyone hold you down. follow your heart and dreams!! Heavenly Father will always help you when you are as righteous as you are.
lastly, thank you for always dealing with my crap (metaphorically) because i have a lot a lot of crap (metaphorical in this context). you are the one person who i truly am my worst with, and i'm sorry about that. i hate it a lot. but in all honesty, you baby me a lot so you're basically signing up for it hehe. but seriously now. you are the bestest friend i will ever have. no matter how far we are apart, you will never leave me, and i will never leave you. we are so incredibly blessed to be sealed as an eternal family, ya know?! we are together forever! even if i'm married to some super hot returned missionary and super successful and have some beautiful genius babies and you're some crazy and lonely old dog lady living in the streets (which you will never be, DUH!!). all in all, you're so freaking awesome in so many ways, and i am really truly lucky to be your sister. i couldn't ask for anyone better. i hope i am all you ever wanted as a little sister when you begged mom and dad for me eighteen years ago :-)

9/8 autumn is my fave

you guys....it was cold enough to wear my beanie this morning. i love it. so. much. and when i say "it," i mean AUTUMN...although i do love my beanie!

(beanies help me look super hipster with the bonus of warming my poor poor ears!!)

(can we also mention how beautiful the grass looks in this picture?? no filter!!! today's weather was perfect i'm telling ya)

reasons why i love fall:

• it's also called autumn--oh so fancy!
• BRING OUT THE BOOTS YALL (i mean yeah i wear boots year round but now it's more socially acceptable and no i do not wear cowboy boots thank you)
• the weather is a perfect mixture of sun and wind
• north carolina is so so so beautiful in the fall
• orange and yellow is everywhere 
• dying leaves are so so so pretty (i'm not a sadist i promise)
• bonfires YEEEE
• beanies (mentioned above)
• hot chocolate is basically an almost daily part of my morning routine
• thanksgiving aka yummy food and friends and family (MY FAVORITE F WORDS)
• ...just basically everything, you guys! like what's NOT to love about fall??? (nothing)

now about today... it was an actually really good day! 

• i wasn't late to seminary today (although a few minutes never hurts anyone really right? hehe)
• i enjoyed laughs in seminary today (really just a lot more this year! it's fantastic!) 
• i rode the bus to school and sat with this seventh grader who was quite interesting. he was really cute and asked a lot of questions about random things. i taught him a bit about condensation and the san andreas fault line. he told me about his family. we compared ages (13 vs 17). he was very much in awe of how old i was hahahah. man it's sad. 
• NOT A GOOD THING BUT QUITE AMUSING: i accidentally stabbed myself with a pencil today and now i have graphite in my leg ahhahaha iT HURTS (the scratch, not the graphite i promise). i was walking down the hallway with my headphones and pencil and one hand, and during a conversation with a friend, a locker door decided to hang onto my headphones. this action jerked me back, causing me to stab myself. the pencil went through my jeans you guys. like what even. 
• i had a test today in my chem class at the local comm. college and it wasn't that hard!! it was so much easier than our homework assignments and it makes me happy. i'm feeling good about it. yay!!!
• the teen wolf season 4 finale was today. IT WAS SO SO SO GOOD. so happy. i almost cried. much feels. much happy.
• i talked to a lot of my GSW friends today. i miss everyone so much. it was so good catching up with people or really just exchanging like ten texts. so good. but all in all, i miss Gov School so so so much. i'm never going back as a student, and that tears me to pieces. this summer was seriously the best summer of my life i think, and i can't even repeat it. i will never stop feeling so blessed because of that opportunity, and that is awesome. 

idk what else to say about today, but there was just something special and so so good about it :-)

...and now i must end it. good night! 

9/2 three day weekends are God sent

oh man you guys
this weekend was the greatest break-but-not-really-a-break-because-i-worked break ever after stressing myself out so much over my decision making last week
so so so rejuvenated and finally ready for my senior year (I think??)

(just SOME of my senior year notebooks and texts)

i love learning so much but this is insane
...but i think i like insane 
(i know i'm a MASOCHIST)

its so bad i know i know

senior year has been overwhelming but i'm getting back into it ya know? and even though i'm totally not a morning person, early morning seminary always makes school a gazillion times better. i'm tired all the time but as much as this shames me to say...i've taken accidental naps like every day so...i can't complain about being tired...jk actually i go to seminary so yah i can (sorry not sorry??)

quick updates: 

• work has been kicking ma butt but money is so so so nice
• i made a 40/100 on a chem hw assignment (DON'T PROCRASTINATE GUYS)
• i lied about my internship...i ended up dropping it (i know i know i'm horrible at decisions i KNOW)

...and the GREATEST UPDATE:

• i'm gonna be starting and FINISHING my college and scholarship apps soon...i can feel it in my bones like it's tingling all over me. IT'S SO WEIRD but it's happening guys and it's happening soon

...and i am so so so so so excited

8/26 i love missionaries

today, i had the blessing to spend my entire evening with my church's missionaries.

for dinner, my ma, pa, and i took the Elders (male mishes) out to good ol' Golden Corral. it's always so fun to learn all about missionaries and hear them talk about the gospel and utah and temples. it's even funner to here them sing modern pop songs hahah. the entire dinner, songs were playing, and the Elders were talking about how much they missed music. they continued talking and singing, constantly mentioning the tender mercies of the Lord. (it's amazing how everything always comes back to our Heavenly Father!) 

unfortunately, I had to leave dinner a bit early to meet the Sister missionaries and pick them up to go to some appointments. most prominent in my thoughts this evening is a visit with an inactive family. this visit reminded me of my own family. i know that my church is God's true church--i have no doubt in my mind--and i want my entire family to feel the blessings of being a part of it. although we are all baptized into the church and sealed as a family, i want my brothers and sister to raise their families in the church and be able to be with THEIR children for all eternity. i surely want to raise my children in this gospel and be with them and my eternal companion for forever. 

this evening continues to support my desire to go on a mission. i am so very blessed to be a part of this gospel and have a testimony of it. i want to share this gospel with people everywhere. i want to help families be together forever. i want people to know that they are loved--so very loved--by our kind and gracious Heavenly Father and savior Jesus Christ. although my future is still a bit shady, i know that this gospel will help me light it up. no matter what, i will go on a mission. i know it is something that i need to do. it is something that i WANT to do. i have no doubt in my mind that a mission is not for me. i am so so so very excited. 

8/25 last first day

my ootd 

(picture taken by my mommy who does not understand bad angles)

my breakfast because my mom loves me 

(okay she only loves me enough to make me the waffle but hey thats a lot)

now about my day:

it was no bueno

as always, first days consist of reading boring syllabi and scouting out who you are going to talk to for the rest of the semester in a particular class. it was not fun. what made my day worse was when i finally felt and realized the consequences of my decision to drop a two-part class  in exchange for an internship at the hospital doing what i wanna do. these consequences include not having lunch with my friends next semester and not being able to leave with them and endure traffic like we usually do, but most frightening and saddening to me is the fact that i will be having one less class with them.  this one less class is not just one less class though, dear friends. to me, it is one more thing that will separate us as we all embark on our inevitably separate journeys at the end of this year. as much as i would like to say that i am no longer upset about this particular decision of mine, i cannot. as my wise ma said i have to live with my decision, and i know that. i truly do. it's just hard for me to focus on my internship when it hasn't actually started and the only thing i have to do instead is to go home and take nap. and no no no i'm not taking my naps for granted, no siree!! i enjoy them a lot actually. not to mention i don't have to endure traffic (although it was fun to endure). now i'm just waiting for my internship to start (hopefully ill start next tuesday!!). i'm hoping and praying that i will make the most out of it and actually be able to enjoy it. i prayed hard about this decision in the first place (like always) and i  have faith that Heavenly Father will see me through it. He will give me comfort and all the things i need to accept this decision.

writing this blog post and feeling the Spirit, i am finally FINALLY getting excited for my senior year.
cheers to me and a frightening yet exciting and especially nerve-wracking decision-making year!

me

hello! my name is cassey 

and this is me

(i dont look this moody in real life all the time i promise)

(north carolina is beautiful)

fun facts!!! (not really but facts nonetheless)

• i am seventeen
• i am Hmong (an Asian minority type)
• i am LDS--more commonly known as Mormon
• i only have one mom (Mormon joke har har hardy har har)
• i have a dog named Cocco
• i am the youngest of five children
• i attended Governor's School West this summer and had the time of my life
• i like me i think

finally, i started this blog for many reasons

• i wanted to track my senior year of high school (which starts tomorrow or rather IN A FEW HOURS)
• i wanted to do this for my personal progress
• this summer i learned that if we don't do things while we're teenagers and in puberty, the harder it will be to implement them as fully-developed adults (this is biologically proven!!)
• i love blogs
• i want to be more committed and i think this might help
• and maybe even more i'm not sure

ok i have to go now because i have to be awake in abour five and a half hours for seminary YIKES and then the last first day of high school EVEN MORE YIKES!! 

good night friends