6/12 mission farewell

Good morning, Brothers and Sisters! My name is Cassey Cha, and on Wednesday, I will have the pleasure of basically changing my first name to Sister for eighteen months as I serve the wonderful people of the California Sacramento mission. I am so so so very excited.
Before I begin my talk, I just want to thank my family, my friends, my seminary teachers, and my leaders for their patience and kindness with helping mold me into the person I am today. And thank you, Newton-Conover ward, for being constant examples of Christ and always so loving. Without you all, I would not be here at this pulpit today. I know that without a shadow of a doubt! For that reason, I’d like to invite anyone interested to the tiny lunch my wonderful wonderful mom and other Relief Society sisters have prepared for us after church today in the gym. Now, for the talk!
For me, this decision has been a long time coming. Ever since I was fourteen, I’ve known that I wanted to serve a mission. I was at EFY, and I just felt—I knew—that a mission was something Heavenly Father needed me to do. So ever since then, everything’s been fine and dandy because I was mission-bound. Just kidding—that’s a joke! All throughout high school, going on a mission was always on my list of plans, but it took me awhile to figure out the exact time to go. After more than a year’s worth of prayers and discussions with my family, I finally made the decision. I started my papers in January, and within three weeks, they were submitted and, eventually, I got my call. And now, here I am!
Today, I want to talk about why I am going on a mission. Sure, I just mentioned that I felt and knew that it was something Heavenly Father wanted me to do…but sometimes feelings can change. And they have, so I want to take a minute to talk about that change.
I don’t know about y’all, but I think going on a mission is a pretty big deal. Making that decision is a big deal. Spending a year and a half doing something entirely different from what most (if not all) of my peers are doing…that’s a big deal. You’re probably thinking I’m being really dramatic, like “Cassey…eighteen months isn’t a big deal at all.” But it is! It’s a big deal because I’m young. I’m sure that at the end of my life, these eighteen months will be a tiny dent in my life time-wise. They won’t be a big deal then, but for now, let’s do some calculations… So I’m currently 19, planning to spend 1.5 years of my life preaching the gospel… By the time I’m done serving, I’ll be 21. So up to that point of my life—divide 21 by 1.5—multiply by 100—14—that’s 14% of my life spent as a sister missionary. 14% of my life spent not dating and not getting married. 14% of my life not going to school and not being anywhere closer to med-school. Sounds pretty tragic, right? And like everything else in the world, it can be…but it depends how you look at it. I choose to look at it this way…By the time I’m 21, I would have spent 14% of my life as a missionary. If I do my job right, that’s 14% of my life spent serving others. 14% of my life loving others a lot more than loving myself. Most importantly, 14% of my life doing everything that my Heavenly Father not only wants me to do but needs me to do.
So, going back to my original point: feelings change. But these feelings have changed in a way that I could have never imagined. Almost four years later, the initial feeling of “Oh, I need to go on a mission” has evolved into a one-hundred-percent-sure decision that, to and for me, has both worldly and spiritual merit.
First, let’s talk about the worldly (and temporal) merit of going on a mission. Easy! I don’t have to go to school for a year a half, meaning no exams. That’s pretty awesome. Just kidding, I actually genuinely enjoy school, but moving on…
Let’s talk about the spiritual merit of going on a mission. Keep in mind that because missions are spiritual in nature, they have eternal value. One of my favorite scripture verses of all time is D&C 18:10: “Remember, the worth of souls is great in the sight of God.” Out of context, this verse is a powerful reminder that everyone, including myself, is important in God’s eyes and should, therefore, be important in my own. In context, however, this scripture (in addition to verses 11-16) speaks of the eternal blessing of doing missionary work: “Remember, the worth of souls is great in the sight of God; For, behold, the Lord your Redeemer suffered death in the flesh; wherefore he suffered the pain of all men, that all men might repent and come unto him. And he hath risen again from the dead that he might bring all men unto him, on conditions of repentance. And how great is his joy in the soul that repenteth! Wherefore, you are called to cry repentance unto this people. And if it so be that you should labor all your days in crying repentance unto this people, and bring, save it be one soul unto me, how great shall be your joy with him in the kingdom of my Father! And now, if your joy will be great with one soul that you have brought forth unto me into the kingdom of my Father, how great will be your joy if you should bring many souls unto me!” We are told that if we can turn just one person to repentance and Christ, we will be blessed immensely in the kingdom of heaven.
So, if you ever doubted it before (which hopefully you haven’t), going on a mission definitely has its merits. I will be blessed for my time spent as a missionary, and I think that’s really neat. But…that’s not why I’m going. I’m not going on a mission so that I can get the temporal and eternal blessings of going on a mission. Because if I was going on a mission just for the blessings I could receive, I might as well not be going on one at all. And why is that? Because it would mean that I had missed the entire point of going on a mission which is: to serve others and bring them unto Christ.
I am going on a mission not because I will be blessed for my efforts but because I love this gospel and I love people. And just like when I discover a new show that I love, I share it with those around me, I too want to share this gospel with anyone and everyone around me. I love this gospel more than anything in the world; it brings me the greatest peace and joy. And I think it’s only fair that I share it with others—to try my best to make sure everyone not only has a chance to hear about it but to also experience it for themselves and to reap its temporal and eternal blessings. And not only is it “fair” that I share it, but it is actually my duty. And, it’s yours, too! The Lord commands us in D&C 88:77, saying, “I give unto you a commandment that you shall teach one another the doctrine of the kingdom.” In verse 81, He continues, saying that “it becometh every man who hath been warned to warn his neighbor.” Because we are privileged enough to have knowledge of the true gospel, it is our duty to share it, especially with those who are less privileged.
And to each of us, the gospel means something different, and by that I mean that it’s important to all of us for different reasons. For the rest of my talk, I want to share with y’all what the gospel means to me and why I choose to be a member of this church. This is the message that I want to share with the world, especially the people of California, as I embark on my mission. And more importantly, it is what I want others to have in and for their own lives.
The gospel of Jesus Christ is the greatest constant I have in my life. It is the greatest reminder that there is a God, one that loves us and is our Heavenly Father. His love is incomprehensible. Growing up, my mom always told me that despite all of my flaws and bad attitudes and tantrums, she would always love me. She taught me about the unconditional love that mothers can have for their children. I like to say that I have this same type of love for my dog Cocco, but I can only imagine what it really feels like until I have children of my own. And even then, I think I’ll find it quite unfathomable. Regardless, I have felt my mom’s unconditional love for me my entire life, and I am so grateful for it because I promise you all, I am a problem child. I can be rude and selfish and far from perfect, but my patient and kind mom has always forgiven me (I hope! You don’t have any grudges against me, do ya, Mama?). I know that our Father in Heaven feels the same way about us. He is perfect and all-powerful, and His love is only more so.
While away at college, I have come to realize that God’s love can be found in literally every single good thing on Earth. D&C 59:18-19 puts this very simply, reading, “Yea, all things which come of the earth, in the season thereof, are made for the benefit and the use of man, both to please the eye and to gladden the heart; yea, for food and for raiment, for taste and for smell, to strengthen the body and to enliven the soul.” He loves us, so He gives us the Earth and everything on it for our benefit. Even on our bad days—I would argue especially on our bad days—as long as we take time to look around us, we can feel God’s love. After a long week of cramming for finals in the dead of winter, I have felt this love as I stepped outside and felt the miraculous sunshine on my face.
The gospel is a constant in my life for another reason: it reminds me that I am never alone. The same EFY summer I decided to serve a mission, my testimony was strengthened exponentially by my dad’s. Before this point, he never really bore his testimony to me, and boy, had I been missing out. My dad testified to me that “he knew that Jesus Christ and God love us because they’re the only people we’re ever able to talk to all the time” (7/20/12 journal entry). I remember crying and being so happy because of that sentence, and over the years, I have only found it to be more and more true. On the good days and on the bad days, we are never alone. Both Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ are only a prayer away! But in actuality, because they are supreme and omniscient beings, they are always with us. Furthermore, Heavenly Father gives us a promise in 1 Corinthians 10:13 that “[He] will not suffer [us] to be tempted above that [which we] are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that [we] may be able to bear it.” Our Father in Heaven knows us personally. He knows our strengths and our weaknesses, and He gives us whatever we need to overcome our trials and accomplish whatever He wants us to accomplish. In addition, we have our brother Jesus Christ to always strengthen us. Matthew 11:28 teaches us that He gives rest to all those who come unto him and are heavy laden. Because of Him, we are not ever left comfortless.
Another reason why the gospel is the greatest constant in my life is because I am imperfect. I do not keep the commandments as diligently as I know I can. Sure, I try, but I am human, and I mess up. But because of the gospel, I know that I can one day become perfect like my Savior Jesus Christ. I can one day reach my fullest potential, but I can only accomplish this seemingly impossible goal through Christ’s Atonement. When Christ was on Earth, He was the greatest example to us. He bore the sins of the world in the garden of Gethsemane and died for us on the cross so that we, too, can return to live with our Father in Heaven. He did all of this so we can be redeemed and forgiven through repentance and faith in Him—so that we can ultimately have eternal life in exaltation. Because of Him, I can live forever in a state of never-ending happiness.
All of this knowledge of the gospel that I’ve talked about today (and so much more, really!!) brings me an immense amount of joy and peace. It fills me with so much love for the world and the people and things in it. Without the gospel, I would probably just be in bed all day crying about how awful the world can be. But, thankfully, because of this gospel and the truth that it brings, I am not. I know that, in the end, everything will be as Heavenly Father planned it to be and that good and light and happiness will win. And I think that’s really really really awesome.
So basically what I’m saying is that this gospel—this church—makes me the happy person that I am today. And nowadays, the world needs more happy people. And I know that this gospel, more than anything else in the world, can lead a person to eternal happiness.
In conclusion, I am serving a mission for this church, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, because I want others to have the same joy and peace and love and knowledge that I have. I want others to know that everything will eventually be okay because they have a Heavenly Father and a savior, Jesus Christ, who loves them and cares for them more than anyone can imagine—that the Holy Ghost speaks to us in a still, small voice—that the Book of Mormon is true—that we have modern-day prophets guiding us today—that we can live with our families for ever and ever—that the Atonement is real and can help us become more perfect—and that our prayers will be answered even when we think they won’t be. Above all, I want others to know that this church, our church, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, is the only true church of God that we have on Earth today. I testify that through the Holy Ghost, I know all of this to be true.

6/6 second semester: top 5 captures

okay I'm gonna cheat and include some collages...pls forgive me 

5. Tunnel? ...more like FUN-HOLE

Taken by the dearest Brenton circa 2 AM. There's a tunnel that basically goes from one bottom of College Hill to the other, and it's officially only for buses and police...but imagine: after a day of hardcore jamming at Spring Weekend and a night of other shenanigans, who wants to walk up a hill at two in the morning? No one. So, my tired friends and I took it upon ourselves to walk through the tunnel. We sang and appreciated the acoustics, observed interesting wall graffiti, and enjoyed our impulsively-purchased Seven-Eleven ICEES in each others' company. BTW, the pic on the left is our attempt at a chill hipster pic, and the pic on the right is me ruining it with my announcement that I really had to pee...All in all, this was a fun adventure, and I look back on this night (and day) with the fondest of memories! Thanks for those who played a part in it :-)

4. CraZAY for SydNAY

After Sydney's adorable and amazing Kpop dancing in the culture show, we took these fan pics (courtesy of Sarah). Sarah's craziness and humor made these pics so much better than I could have imagined. The blurry aesthetic epitomizes our friendship. Sarah's always cracking us up with her antics, Sydney's always being adorable, and I'm just taking it all in. They remind me to take myself and others less seriously and teach me to become a better lover of life and appreciator of friendship. I'm so grateful for them!

3. Tinashe Bae

Taken during Tinashe's FREAKING AMAZING performance. Bae seriously killed it. I have never been so wowed!! Tinashe is a beautiful human being, and I had so much fun jamming to her with some of my favorite people by my side. (Also, can we take a second to appreciate Kobe to the left of me? Such a lover of life and so freaking smart and wise I cannot even deal.) Unpictured is Sarah to the right of me seriously and quite literally freaking going HAM to Tinashe. Spring Weekend, man.

2. UnNecessary Dinners
Pretty much everyone on this dinner date was done with exams except me (I had one more the day after that I had barely studied for), and I really should have been studying instead of grabbing a nice dinner with my friends. But whatever because it was so freaking worth it. I think it's so important for us to remind ourselves of what makes us happy. For me, it's my friends (more so than my grades, at least), and I needed to prioritize them in the moment, especially knowing that I wouldn't be returning in the fall. I encourage everyone to do that! Always prioritize what makes you happy. Now. Enough with the philosophical talk. I freaking love the humans above. I wish I had more chances to hang out with all of them a bit more during the year, but I'm so grateful for each of them! Also, in the bottom left pic are Eddy and Marimar, two wonderful humans that won't be at Brown when I return. Oh, how I'll miss them so!! Such bright and beautiful human beings.

1. Reunited and it feels so Freaking Good

MY FAVORITE PEOPLE IN THE WORLD CAME TO MY FAVORITE PLACE IN THE WORLD, AND IT WAS AWESOME. I seriously love my Mama and my Sister so freaking much, and I'm so happy they were able to come pick and pack me up. Not to mention this day was a particularly beautiful day and I had just finished my last exam (and therefore, freshman year)!! It was so bittersweet saying a "see ya later" to my year-long home, but I'm so freaking happy to be done with exams and reunited with my favorite people that I can't even be mad or sad. Thanks for an amazing year, Brown, but the greatest thanks to these two for always being so kind, understanding, and encouraging--basically for being the foundation of my entire life and the greatest support system a girl could ask for. I couldn't have made it through this year without y'all. 

6/1 my corner of Brown

Before heading up to Brown, I, a Pinterest-home-decor-loving, loved looking at the dorms of other people and pinning so many cute decor ideas. It was fun stuff! At the end of the day though, I never got too invested in the idea of having the "cutest" dorm. I knew I would be kicked out of the dorm at the end of the year and would more than likely be leaving for my mission anyways (which happened to be true!), so I tried super hard not to pack too much stuff to have to lug back to NC. After all, what comes up, must come down, right?
So, without further adieu, here was my humble abode...my own lil corner of Brown University.
A thing about the last photo: while at Brown, I was a part of a program called Swearer Teaching and Enrichment in Math and Sciences (STEMS). These are the name tags from that experience. 

For anyone wondering where to get any of this stuff or something similar...
Comforter - Kohls (it was a super cheap 8-piece set!)
Pink fluffy blanket - Target
Lights - Michaels (lights here are the best)
Lamp - idk, but I covered it with Washi tape and found it quite cool
Wall quote - letters from recycled paper
Picture frames - WalMart and Goodwill
Foil letter "C" - DIY with aluminum foil and cardboard
Temple canvas art - DIY (I'm quite proud of this because of my lack of artistic ability)

"But seek ye first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you." -1 Nephi 13:33

5/31 to my Brown Bear babes

A lil bit over a week ago, I said my "see ya later's" to Brown and some of my favorite Brownies. I wanted to share them (and these cute pics) with y'all.



To my Brownies, 
In this short year, all of you have touched a piece of my heart--whether it was through your kindness, intelligence, humility, humor, or something else. I love Brown, but I love it because of y'all. Thanks for taking me as I am, dealing with my annoying and assertive self, forcing me out of my comfort zone (whether you were aware of it or not), teaching me about the world and how to be kinder and more compassionate, and really just loving me for me. I have never felt so at place.
I'm sad I won't be able to experience crazy Brown life with you all for a year and a half, BUT I'm grateful for the times we've spent together this year. I'm even more grateful I get to return to such amazing and beautiful human beings that I am privileged enough to call my friends. I love y'all so much. Greatest luck to you all in these next couple of years. See ya in two-ish, babes! 

3/11 EXCITING ANNOUNCEMENT!!!

Hi friends!! It's been awhile, but I wanted to share with you all a very very very very exciting decision of mine :-)

On February 2nd, I submitted the above photo (credit to my amazing Branch President, President Lourenco!) with my LDS Missionary Recommendation Forms. A week later, it was looked at by an apostle of the Lord and used as a reference for prayer. Weeks and weeks and weeks later, after many trials of patience, I got a surprising text from my mom. Another few weeks later, after some more trials of patience, I finally got the news I had been waiting so impatiently for...

I have been called to serve as a missionary for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints in the California Sacramento mission. I'll be speaking English and reporting to the Provo MTC on June 15th. For 18 months, I'll be serving the Lord and His people, preaching the gospel, and spreading the love of Christ! There's nothing I love more than this gospel, and I simply cannot wait for this wonderful time.

I'm going to expand a bit more on my decision and decision process of going on a mission, so if you want to learn more about me and that, read on!
When I was fourteen, I went to EFY, a three-week summer program for LDS youth. That summer was the summer I learned that I had a testimony of Christ and this church. It was a tiny testimony--a really really tiny one--but it existed nonetheless, so I clung to it. Over the years, I held my testimony really close to my heart and barely ever shared it with those around me for numerous reasons. I think because I held it so close, it never really grew much. It wasn't until I started sharing it with others whether by action or by word did it start to grow. And oh how I loved it so.
Another thing about that summer: when I realized I did have a testimony, I knew it was something special, so special that I knew I wanted to share it with the world. So ever since that summer, I have wanted to serve a full-time mission.
Over the years, my desire was put on the back burner (because I have to be 19 to serve and thus had to wait until at least November 2015). It became more important when I began my senior year, and after an amazing and testimony-strengthening summer at Governor's School, I knew even more so that I wanted to do nothing but serve a mission for the church that I loved so much. At the beginning of the college application process, I knew I wanted to serve a mission as soon as I could. BUT I didn't want to not go to college and "waste time" from June 2015-November 2015 (although I obviously wouldn't be wasting time). So I prayerfully applied to four awesome colleges and planned to go to school for one semester and then leaving for my mission at the beginning of 2016. When I was making my decision between the colleges, I also prayed. So. Much. Regarding both my mission and the school in general!
The summer before freshman year, I prayed some more, wanting to make sure that going on my mission after the fall semester--and even going at all, actually--was the right choice for me. After lots of prayer, pros-and-cons-lists, discussion with family and friends, and even more prayer, I decided that leaving after the entirety of my freshman year was the best choice. And I still believe that it is!
So basically, morals of the story...If you want something enough, just *in Shia LaBeouf's voice* do it. More importantly, prayer is real! And even MORE importantly, Heavenly Father's timing is real. I have so much faith in that.

Throughout this entire post, I've referenced my testimony, so you might be wondering what that entails. And, my friends, here it is (in its simplest form, anyways!)...
I have a testimony that this church, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, is the true church of God, and it is the same gospel Jesus Christ taught when he was here over 2000 years ago. I have another testimony that God still speaks to us today through prophets. He spoke to Joseph Smith in the 1820s, leading to the restoration of today's church, and He continues to speak to us through today's prophet, Thomas S. Monson. I have a testimony that Jesus Christ suffered and died for our sins during the Atonement so that we can defeat death and live with our Heavenly Father again for all eternity. Also, I know that, through the Atonement, I can find the greatest peace as I strive to become a more perfect person--as I strive to become the person I am supposed to be. I am a child of God, and He loves me more than I, you, anyone can ever imagine. And at the end of the day, I think that's what all of this--this entire blog post, this decision, this life I live--comes down to.

My testimony of that single fact is the greatest constant in my life, and it brings me an incredible amount of peace and joy. I feel so privileged to know something so simple yet so freaking awesome and special because guess what? He loves you, too! More than you can ever imagine. He loves everyone in the same capacity. I feel that too few people know that fact, and I find it a bit disheartening. So, I want to share that peace and joy and love with everyone, especially those around me. And I'm so beyond freaking excited to be doing that and only that for eighteen months of my life as I serve in the California Sacramento mission.

1/28 winter break: top 5 captures

5. Same Routine, New Role
All four years of my high school career, I attended early-morning seminary before school around 6a.m. My church offers it to to high school students (and anyone else) as a sort of scripture study in the morning. I love love loved seminary as I honestly believe I would not be where I am today without it. It was an awesome spiritual experience even though I sometimes had the worst attitude for it. Not only did I have the worst attitude for it sometimes but also the worst routine regarding it. When I started driving my junior year, I was always late. Like more than 10 minutes late. Almost every morning. After seminary, on the way back home, I would always (illegally?) use my cell phone to take a picture of the sunrise. When I got home, I took a 20 minute nap before I had to start getting ready for school. It was my weird morning routine, and I loved it. In its entirety, the routine epitomized the common phrase "It's the little things" and, for me, acted as a constant reminder of the beauty and happiness and pure light in the world.
So this winter break, my old seminary teacher asked me to return to seminary to teach a lesson, and I happily agreed. Falling into old habits, I was 10 minutes late. And on my way back home, I took a pic of the sunrise. And as soon as I got home, I laughed at the nostalgia of it all and giddily climbed into bed. It was one of my favorite mornings.

4. Happy Times with Sad Bonfires, Romances, and Polaroids
I've been friends with Micky and Belive (left and right, respectively) for a long time now (I got baptized with Micky when I was eight!), and it was so nice to catch up with them. They're two very special and genuine and single people who never fail to make me laugh. We wanted to have a bonfire, so we had one...but we forgot it had rained so we had to use wet wood for the fire. It didn't work really well. Thankfully, I had a butt ton of shoeboxes to burn (who knew my shoe addiction would come in handy, right?!). So, we used cardboard fire to eat s'mores and keep us somewhat warm. We talked about the romance (or really LACK of it) in our lives, and honestly, it was such a funny topic for all of us. I think we laughed a bit too hard haha. And you see that polaroid on the left? Yeah...it's messed up. It was our first take, and it was taking a few seconds longer to develop because it was cold, so I joked about putting it closer to the fire so it'd develop faster. As soon as I said it, Belive took the polaroid and put it right on top of our tiny fire and it developed!! Super fast!! We looked away from the photo for like two seconds, and next thing we knew, it was dark blue. And getting faster by the second. After a few minutes of laughing at our dark dark DARK blue and barely noticeable faces, we took another polaroid! Which, if I remember properly, was just as cute as the first one. So all in all, it was a pretty memorable night! 

 3. Christmas Kisses
I shared this photo on my Christmas post already, but I'm sharing it again because SERIOUSLY look how cute it is!!! My mom looks like the happiest mom ever. I love her so so much. 

2. I'm their Favorite
For once in a really really long time, everyone was home! It was a rare thing, so I forced everyone to get dressed and go outside for an impromptu family photoshoot. The pictures turned out pretty sweet, I think. This one's one of my favorites though! If I remember properly, I was tired of the boys looking so stoic and manly, so I said a lame thing (it's my forte), and look what happened! The cutest thing ever.

1. She's my Favorite (Even though I'm not Her's)
Man, I love my dog. She's the cutest lil babe ever. She doesn't think the same of me though. Fun storytime: when I came home from Prov, I was so so so excited to see Cocco. Like BEYOND normally-excited. And she was excited to see me too!! She whined and ran around for attention, but as soon as I grabbed a hold of her and started trying to cuddle her, she squirmed through my arms and ran to Maxine. My jaw dropped. Can you believe the AUDACITY of the dog?! She missed Maxine more than she missed ME, her OWNER. I was really really hurt. And offended. And I still am! She's the worst dog-child ever, and if that ever happens between my human-children and I, I'm calling Child Services. Obviously kidding harharhar...just a bit. But seriously, I love my dog, and I love this pic. My favorite thing is the Sun and hexagonal shapes of light. So aesthetic! Much aesthetic!

I hope everyone had an amazing winter break, holidays, whatever! Good luck to all starting a new semester of school (or any sort of new life chapter). Remember, party hard, dudes. It's 2016. Oh, what a time to be alive! :-)

1/26 winter break reflection: CHANGE

(Flying into and out of Charlotte)

After spending more than five weeks back in my hometown, I have come to one interesting conclusion: that everything has changed but it's also still so so the same.
What I mean when I say that is that I have changed. I knew that fact when I left Providence, but it truly hit me sometime during my stay. My perspectives of the world have changed, and it's hard to explain what I mean by that—what goes on in this weird mind of mine—so I'm not going to try it (because I honestly still don't understand it myself). But, whatever it is, I find it a bit sad. Not only is it sad, but it's also a bit terrifying. This idea reminds me of a song that used to scare me as a child when I first heard it: "Everybody's Changing" by Keane.
So little time / Try to understand that I'm / Trying to make a move just to stay in the game / I try to stay awake and remember my name / But everybody's changing and I don't feel the same
My entire life I always thought change was a scary thing—something to avoid—something that tore people apart. Even today, I don't think I'm entirely wrong. Because change is scary. But it's not something we should avoid. Nor is it something that tears people apart.
True, it sucks, and it's disheartening. But it is what it is.
And I'm okay with that. And if you're feeling the same way right now, you should be too.
Why? Because change with a positive connotation is GROWTH. So when we experience change, it means that we're growing. And so are the people around us. And I'd like to think that we're growing into the people that we will be for the rest of our lives. Into the people with whom our significant others will fall in love. Into the people who might just one day change the world.
And yeah, of course, us being okay with it doesn't make it suck any less, but the thing is…we can’t do much about it. We can really only do one thing: accept it. We can accept people and their different ideas. And if you're really up for it (which I'm deciding to be), we can be excited for the person they might grow to be.

1/12 favorite songs from One Tree Hill

One Tree Hill has one of the greatest soundtracks ever. The timing of the songs was always so so on point, and even MORE on point was the actual songs (and their meanings, of course!). I can blabber on forever about the music, but I'll spare you. Instead, I've listed a few of my favorites that I find uplifting, empowering, and just so freaking special. Take a listen! You won't regret it, I know it.
1. Gavin DeGraw - I Don't Wanna Be
  • I don't want to be
    Anything other than what I've been trying to be lately
    All I have to do
    Is think of me and I have peace of mind
    I'm tired of looking 'round rooms
    Wondering what I've got to do
    Or who I'm supposed to be
    I don't want to be anything other than me
2. Nada Surf - Always Love
  • To make a mountain of your life
    Is just a choice
    But I never learned enough
    To listen to the voice that told me
    Always love, Hate will get you every time
    Always love, Don't wait til the finish line
3. Wakey!Wakey! - Almost Everything
  • You miss the feeling when you step outside
    And then your mind comes all untied
    And then you open up your eyes
    And you don't feel lonely
    And it feels bad now but it's gonna get better
    Someday
4. Jimmy Eat World - 23
  • You'll sit alone forever
    If you wait for the right time
    What are you hoping for?
5. Audioslave - Be Yourself
  • And even when you've paid enough, been pulled apart or been held up
    With every single memory of the good or bad faces of luck
    Don't lose any sleep tonight
    I'm sure everything will end up alright
    You may win or lose
    But to be yourself is all that you can do
6. Feeder - Feeling a Moment
  • Don't ever feel that you're alone
    I'll never let you down, I'll never leave you dry
    Don't fall apart, don't let it go
7. Vega4 - Life is Beautiful
  • It's amazing where I'm standing
    There's a lot that we can give
    This is ours just for the moment
    There's a lot that we can give
8. Blind Pilot - New York
  • I got wise and I got old 
    Not once, not once did I fold 
    So don't you now
I also made a mix on 8tracks so you and I can listen to them on repeat on bad days. Check it out here!

1/10 Five things that One Tree Hill taught me

This week, I finished watching One Tree Hill. I watched lil bits of it way back in elementary and middle school, but I was never up to date with it. So, one day, while listening to Spotify, Gavin DeGraw's "I Don't Wanna Be" came on, and I immediately felt nostalgic. You see, this amazing song was the opening song for OTH, and somehow...because of all the random nights and times I watched the show, it was the anthem of my childhood. A few jam sessions to the song later, I decided to watch OTH again and, this time, completely and whole-heartedly. So here we are!
Like I said, I finished OTH this week, and I haven't been the same since. I cried the last two episodes because I knew the end was coming, and I'm still crying tbh (if only on the inside, occasionally on the outside). Yeah, it seems a bit ridiculous, but you GUYS...It's SUCH an amazing show. So freaking wise and beautiful and glorious and perfect. I really recommend it with all of my heart.
Alas, I'm done writing about my sad whining and pining. Instead, I want to share with you all FIVE THINGS THAT OTH TAUGHT ME:
  1. It's okay to be ambitious and want what you want.
    I think it sucks that to be selfish is seen as the worst thing in the world. "Selfish" has such a crappy connotation with it that it scares people into thinking that ALL we have to be is selfless--to put everything and everyone else above ourselves. But I don't think that's true. If it is, then I am doing life so so wrong.
    In the show, the characters start off as high schoolers, and they each have their own dreams. For a long time, some of them are scared of chasing their dreams for fear that they'll be leaving people or something else behind. But they don't. They never do. The things that truly matter follow us where we go--they just take different paths and may take a bit longer to follow. More importantly though, if you are doing something that YOU want to do and it is something that you believe will make you TRULY happy, do it. Never compromise when it comes to your own happiness (obviously compromise if someone's life is at stake, but I hope things never get that extreme for anyone).
  2. You can find an infinite amount of hope in love. 
    Nathan and Haley (Naley) honestly have one of the greatest love stories that I can think of, and they are 75% of the reason why I love OTH. You might think that it seems a bit naive that I think I can learn from the love between two fictional characters, but I have. Naley taught me that in the darkest of situations, if you love someone unconditionally and they you, then you're pretty gosh dang lucky because at the end of the day, that's all that really matters. You have someone that is more than willing to hold your hand and suffer with you through all of the scary and sometimes crappy times. Above all, you have someone who believes that you can make it through, someone who believes in you. And, if that's not special--if that's not HOPE--then I don't know what is.
  3. You--and only you--can define who you are (and who you will become). 
    One of my favorite parts of watching OTH was watching the characters grow. Brooke Davis started off as a girl only ever wanting to have fun, but she grew so freaking much. Somewhere along the way, she started believing in herself. And when she did, her whole world changed. She found out who she was and figured out who she wanted to become and became it. In the end, B. Davis got all she wanted. She teaches me that YOU become who YOU want to become. Other people can't influence them unless you allow them to, so don't. Don't give anyone or anything power over who you are.
  4. Life is hard and it sucks a lot of the time, but there are so many things worth fighting for. 
    A lot of tragic things happen on One Tree Hill, and sure, it can get pretty dramatic at times, but tragic things happen all the time in real life, and that sucks. When bad things happen, we often spend a lot of time thinking of what went wrong. Of what if's. Of what could have been's. And that's okay, BUT you can't be in that state of mind forever. It's really easy to get wrapped up into the unfairness and sadness of it all, but at the end of the day, life keeps moving...and so should you. Why? Because life has so much to offer you. The WORLD has so much to offer to you. There's love, adventure, happiness to be found and had. Sunsets to be watched. Words to be heard. Things to be learned. There's so much out there, and you miss it when you stop fighting.
  5. Change happens. It happens a lot, all of the time, and almost always...but it's not always bad. In fact, it's usually for the better.
    People change. Cities change. The world changes. And that's okay because I bet you're changing with it. It's sometimes hard to notice changes within ourselves, but they're there. I know this because as you experience life, you experience new things, and those things change you in some way, shape, or form. It's Newton's Law of Inertia: "Every object in a state of uniform motion tends to remain in that state of motion unless an external force is applied to it." These things can change your perspective and force you into uncomfortable situations that you never thought you could love. All of these things--these changes--they're shaping you into the person you're supposed to be, and I think that's freaking awesome. 
I loved One Tree Hill so much, and I'm so sad it's over for me. If I could brainwash myself to forget it and then watch it all over again, I would. And, as corny as it sounds, it's reminded me of the reason why I love humans: we're all so intricate and complex yet simple, so fragile yet resilient. Humans are awesome, and so is One Tree Hill. Watch it. 

1/2 first semester: top 5 captures

5. Pure birthday bliss
I freaking love me some Sarah Tran. She's the sweetest and most hardworking person I know, and she's always ensuring that everyone is feeling good and happy. So, I'm honored to share a birthday with her. This night, my Catalyst Pham put together a surprise birthday dinner for us…ice cream cake included, of course! It was the sweetest thing, and I love them all dearly for putting forth so much effort to make our birthdays a little more special.

4. Breaking rules, not bodies
Also taken on my birthday, this picture gives just a tiny glimpse of all the joy and love I felt that day. I broke the Cliffwalk's rules to not past the signs and get on the cliffs, but I just couldn’t resist. The cliffs and the special views from the cliffs were just so freaking special. My friends were afraid of me falling to my death, but I think it would have been worth it (not really, I just knew I wasn't going to fall hahaha).

3. Frosh ballin'
I don’t know about you, but I enjoy dancing ridiculously in public. So, I jump at any chance of going to random dances. This dance in particular was organized for first-years (by two of my Catalyst Pham—so freaking proud!), and I had the coolest group of kids to go with. Sure, we started the party late, but we stayed as late as we could, probably later. It was a night of weird limb movements and pained knees. So basically, it's one that I'll remember for quite some time.

2. Facing the world
I remember being really excited yet nervous to take this cliché we're-the-cutest-group-of-friends-ever-and-are-going-to-face-the-world-together picture. Excited because I found a group of people that I love, wouldn't trade the world for, and be 100% me 100% of the time. Nervous because I trusted them so much after only a week, and that took me off guard a bit. Thankfully, I put my trust in the right people, each of who can be incredibly insightful and considerate. Even more importantly, they are people who make me want to be a better me.

1. Cutest [Unit]mates
Erin is so freaking talented and sweet!! She made everyone artwork for Christmas, and I laughed so hard when I saw the one she made for Serene and I (which is the only one, I'm sure, who has two people pictured together). This picture and drawing symbolizes just how freaking lucky I am to live on the floor that I live on and to have the roommate that I have. Everyone is nice and fun and talented…just super chill. To Serene, you have become my best friend. I love you a lot, and we are, indeed, the Cutest Roommates.

1/1/2016 16 things I hope to do again in 2016

Happy New Year, friends!! 
2015 has been a great year, so I've made a list of 16 things that I did and/or loved in 2015 and hope to do or continue doing in the new year.

  1. Started watching One Tree Hill
  2. Fell in love with OTH's soundtrack, especially "Always Love" by Nada Surf
  3. Walked my dog
  4. Went on late night adventures with friends
  5. Hiked with amazing friends
  6. Drove to the beach 
  7. Tutored kids
  8. Kept up with the people that I care about the most
  9. Shared my testimony
  10. Had some gumption
  11. Made videos
  12. Never gave up
  13. Validated others and myself
  14. Felt confident in all aspects of my life
  15. Found beauty in new people and new places
  16. Felt beyond grateful for my blessings
A lot has happened this year, but it's been so good. I've learned a lot, and I'm so excited to learn more in 2016--to learn more about myself, the people around me, and the world.
© chasing cassey
Maira Gall